Mother's Day

It is officially Mother's Day. I feel really bad in the fact that I didn't get my mom an "official" Mother's Day present, however I do have something planned that I hope is received the way that I see it.

Mother's Day is one of those days that I think about more than Father's Day. I guess because growing up my mom was always there for me a lot more than my dad was. I mean, she was the one who went to school functions, who actually paid attention to what was going on in my life, and basially my dad funded everything. Now he always wonders why we only go to him when we need money. I wonder why? That is the only thing that he has ever been good more, as sad as it is. But then again, as the saying goes, if the shoe fits...

But back to my point. Anyway, like I said, when I was in school, my mom was always the one that went on field trips with me, who came see school programs or parties or the what not. My dad was always "too busy". Except when it came to Amy's field trips. He decided he needed to "be a dad" and actually went on a few. Not that I'm jealous. I had a lot more fun with my mom than I would have had with my dad. The only thing he ever went on with me was to Camp Allen in fifth grade. He didn't even take off work. He drove down after work every day and then went home. We were only gone three days. I don't think it'd have killed him to take a few days of vacation.

Speaking of, we never went on a family vacation. Ever. The only things we ever did was go to Astroworld once a summer (c'mon, it was in Houston...not the moon). Now that Amy and I are all grown up, adults, he wants to "do things as a family". It's a little late to do the right thing now, as the song goes.

I'm now getting off topic. This started off being about Mother's Day, and ended up being a rant about my dad. But trust me, that could be a whole book all on its own.

Basically, I want to say that I hope my mom has a Happy Mother's Day, even though there is no chance she will ever read this.

Just another Saturday

Well, I finished McKettrick's Heart today. It was a bit different than I was expecting. I'm hoping to find the rest of the series, Sierra's Homecoming, High Country Bride, Secondhand Bride, Shotgun Bride, and A McKettrick Christmas soon. Though I might hold off on the last one for awhile since I don't think it is in paperback yet, and I just hate buying hardback, as they are so expensive, not to mention hard to hold.

Before I start on anymore of the series that I got yesterday (Bridget and Skye of the Primrose Women series, A Wanted Man [both by Linda Lael Miller], several Liz Carlyle books, and then a few others that look promising), I want to re-read Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl. I bought a new copy yesterday and am looking forward to reading it again. I think the first time I read it was when I was in fifth grade, and then again in eighth grade. I don't know if I have read it since then. Somewhere I own the definitive version, but at this point in time, God only knows where it is.

I have really come to re-appreciate reading in the past few days. It is the one thing that can always get me through, no matter what I am going through.

My Plans for Summer

I know, I know. It's not even the middle of May yet and already I'm talking about summer. But can I help it if the real school year is ending on May 18? Those that were lucky enough to have passed TAKS, have 90% attendence and passing all classes get to start their summer May 19, while the rest have to wait until June 3rd. Anyway, that doesn't all techincally apply to me, since I'm not a student.

Anyway, back to my summer plans. Let's see, on June 13 I have to go to to the U of H to take that Praxis test again, since I was one point away from passing last time. Yeah. One stupid point. Oh well, at least this time I should do really well since I know what I'm doing. At least I think I do.

My other plans include finishing up all of my school assignments over the summer, except for those that have to be in a classroom. There are 19 or 20 in classroom tasks, that hopefully I'll finish within the first month of school. But this summer, all of the rest are planned to be finished. I have to keep myself motivated so that I can get it all done.

I also plan on reading a book a day. That's right a day. I have started reading novels by Linda Lael Miller, mainly the McKettrick series, and have fallen in love. I finished McKettrick's Luck yesterday and read McKettrick's Pride today. I plan on looking for McKettrick's Heart tomorrow, and any of the earlier books that I can find. Once I do all of that, I get to start on her Creed series, which is a branch of the McKettricks (apparently they have HUGE family) and I have the first book, and so I'm still looking for the others. That should keep me busy for like, a week or two. I should also get started on the McGregor series by Nora Roberts, that at least I have all of them.

Other than that, who knows?

Loser?

This is really random, I know. Not to mention that it is only a few hours after my last post. But sometimes, do you ever just really feel like a loser? Like a complete outcast?

Every once in awhile I feel that way. Especially now as all my friends are getting married and having babies. I feel like I am just kind of pushed aside, not really intentionally, and it makes me sad. I mean, I don't want to sit around and cry like a baby or anything, but I just get a little down by it.

I'll check facebook and read comments that people leave, that say such things as "Congrats on the upcoming marriage" or "I heard about the baby - congrats!" And then I just feel like I am so behind everyone. I mean, i should have graduated like, four years ago. And here I am, planning to graduate in a year. 9 years after I graduted high school. With a bachelor's, not a master's. And then I'm not even going to get into the failed engagement that I went through, which really made me feel like a loser. However, I know it isn't my fault, I wasn't the one who called it off like a coward, but somehow I feel like people look down on me and think a lot of things they aren't saying.

Then there is the whole baby thing. I'm not really sure what the whole fuss is about, except that EVERYONE seems to be encouraging me to have kids. I mean, my mom AND Cody's mom are always talking about grandchildren, our friend's ask us when we'll have a kid, etc. What is the deal? Not to mention that if I were to tell them I was unsure about having kids, then I'd really be the black sheep.

I mean, all I want to do is be able to fit in, but I think that I missed my chance somewhere in there down the road. Maybe it was in 6th grade when I had a hard time making friends. Maybe it was 9th grade when I didn't get contacts until the second semester. Maybe it was around the time I turned 16 and didn't get a job or start driving like all of my friends did. I know it was definately about the time when I ended up sticking around and going to Blinn with no idea what it was that I wanted to, instead of going someplace safe like SHSU and being able to gradute in 2005 with an education degree. I would be able to say about now that I was graduating with some kind of master's instead of just a bachelors. By the time I finally finish, and if I do get a master's or doctorate, I'll be too old to be able to use it. I'm probably going to be the first teacher in history to start when I'm 30. Most are probably looking forward to retirement about that time.

So anyway, that was just some random thoughts that I was having at the moment. Let me know what you think.

Finally Friday

Today - Friday, May 8 - an interesting day. For starters, it marks the 14th anniversary of the day my grandpa died. Weird, I know. But my mom is always talking about it, so it's hard not to think about it. Also, this morning was Stephen's graduation. I didn't get to go :( but I know that he did great. Well, it was a graduation, so he didn't really have to do anything, but still. Now he has a master's degree. Let's just hope he remembers the little people (me!).

I also found out that I am supposed to be subbing next Friday, which will probably be my last day before the school year is over.

This morning I got a pedicure, and I love the shade. It's some kind of dark pink, a berry something something or other. I splurged and got the flower painted on. It's pretty.

Erin called me around noon to help finalize some things before her court date. I think that it is

If you've noticed, I have been very faithful with my posts. I plan on trying to post something every day, even though it probably won't be very exciting. I want to get in the habit of always writing something, so then that way maybe I will at least get some readers.

My (almost) Last Day of Work til Summer

Well, I thought today was going to be my last day of work this school year, but I was wrong. I'm going to be working again next Friday, for the class that I subbed for on Tuesday and Wednesday. They aren't bad kids...just a little rowdy. I wish it was for the group I had today, though.

I found out yesterday that I have to re-write my philosophy of teaching paper again. It's not fair. I wrote it last semester, and they liked it. However, whoever is in charge of reading it this time didn't think that it quite fit the bill, so I have to re-write it. I mean, what does philosophy of teaching mean, right? It's the way you feel about teaching? About how teaching is these days? Oh well. I guess I have to just look it up and go with it. At least they liked everything else. Except for my resume, which they said could be re-done so it didn't have little dots. I'm like, what gives? I didn't see any dots when I checked it. So who knows?

It's also hard to believe that the end of the school year is here. It seems like I was just waiting for it to start so I could get some money, now here I am again, on the brink of summer, trying to figure out what I'm going to do with myself for three months. Although, I do have a few goals. Although, that is for another post.

Just a few updates

Let's see, there's not much to update about our lives. We went out to Lake Bryan on Sunday, May 3, and Cody and I have a lot to show for it. We both have killer sunburns...at least Cody's is starting to fade into a tan, and well, I'm still red but at least it doesn't hurt as much as it did. Cody also hurt his leg jumping into the water, and so now he's on light duty at work for at least a week, he goes back to the doctor Monday to find out for sure if he can go back or not to his regular stuff.

Amy is graduating next Friday, the 15. I thought that it was the 8th, but I was wrong. However, Stephen is graduating the 8th. Then the Budweiser picnic is on the 16. So we have a few things lined up for the next few weeks. Beckie wants us to come and visit over Memorial Weekend, but it all pretty much depends on Cody's schedule and if he wants to. That's the main thing right there.

I talked to Kelli yesterday, the first time in awhile, I mean actually on the phone, we've messaged through facebook and stuff like that but it's been awhile since we talked on the phone. She just found out that they are having a baby girl - which is exciting since they already have Micheal. And I mean that in the nicest way possible :) Just that now they will have a boy and a girl. I don't know if they have any names picked out yet, but all of that will come in time. I'm already picking out presents to buy for the shower :)

So now, all of my closest married friends are either having girls or already have girls. Beckie has Ivy and Rose, and then Kelli, Jaime, and Stephen are each expecting a girl, and Sharon has a girl, who is like 3 or 4 (I haven't talked to her in forever, but she was a close friend in middle school and the beginning of high school). I just hope that the girl fever rubs off on me when I'm ready :). Though I'm really hoping for twins - a boy and a girl.

Hmm, all that color formatting was fun. There is a lot of pink on here. I could add some more blue, but that would just be in talking about the one I know that is expecting a boy, and the one that recently had a boy. Not really exciting. I mean, they already had them, and I don't even know them all that well.

Well, I guess that is it for now.

I'm signing off.